Wednesday, October 29, 2003
You know, those ads they had when this ice cream first came out were so provocative. And I'm all like...WOW! That's some sexy ice cream.
But then I went to buy some. And they have names like Midnight Rendezvous, Pure Surrender, and Spellbound. And may I just say "What the fuck????"
Those are scintillating names, indeed. Very noir. But what the eff is in them???? I'm sorry, I'm a little practical here. I need my ice cream to be very specific! I need it to tell me exactly what's in it! Chocolate Chunk Swirl. Swiss Chocolate Almond. Praline Butter Crunch. "Hidden Treasures" just reminds me of scooping out my cat litter box. When you're in the grocery store, you just don't have time to read the seductive descriptions of a dozen containers.
So I didn't! I dropped the container I was reading and went right for the B&J's New York Super Fudge Chunk. That's what I'm talking about. I just can't work that hard for my ice cream fix, you know what I'm saying?
Or is it just ME???
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Friday night I rented The Runaway Bride, much to Matt's chagrin, and settled down with some Indiscretion Ice Cream, Hidden Treasures flavor. The side of the ice cream container describes it as "creamy Mascarpone Cheese ice cream layered with tart marion blackberries, rich cheesecake spirals and flaky phyllo dough." The phyllo dough gave it a real interesting, almost rough texture. I'm not sure if I liked it. Plus, I'm not a big berry fan. I "suffered" through it though and will probably finish the whole thing before Thanksgiving!
Monday, October 27, 2003
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Monday, October 20, 2003
Saturday, October 18, 2003
TP and I continued the unfinished social of last week. But we had a guest join us, who is somewhat of an expert in the field of adult entertainment. He's a friend of mine who came to see West Side Story. And he works in a law firm for an attorney who represents many porn companies on first amendment issues. So it was a VERY interesting juxtaposition when Alan and I were giggling like girls while holding the "Up My Butt Hard" video, and my friend would look at it and say "Now you wouldn't be able to show that video on the cable channels because of this and this and this".
In fact, the store we were at doesn't even technically classify as an adult shop because of the "60/40" Rule. 60% of the store is non-adult videos. When you walk in, you are in the "regular" video part, where you can rent "The Bridges of Madison County" or "Basket Case". But you have to go through the door to the back to get to the adult stuff. How 'bout that?
But my friend had the quote of the night when I picked up this vibrator that was called "My First Vibrator", whose color was called "Innocent White", and he said:
"That's the vibrator I gave my niece for her First Communion!"
Addendum: 10/20 - Alan found a photo of it for us!
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Our beloved TP and I are doing West Side Story in N. Tonawanda (in the Buffalo area). I’ll reserve comment on this blog about that, instead moving right along to one of the ways he and I are making the best of it! What better way than to have our own mini-TLIC social?
There’s this great little diner across the street from the theater called Nestor’s. It cheesy and dirty and gross and it’s awesome. And they serve ice cream. So last Friday we decided to go get us some, then catch a little porn after. So we scarf down some dogs with everything, then move hurriedly to the ice cream.
Aren’t we cute?
While we’re adding calories to our already sugary diets (remember, there are muddy buddies in the pit!), we talk about what porn store to go to. And I’m saying, “It’s N. Tonawanda for god’s sake! There’s gotta be a porn store here!” And neither of us wants to go very far, because NT is in the middle of Nowheresville, NY. So I says, “Let’s ask someone!” And Alan says “NO WAY!” So we get a phone book. But where the hell do you find “porn store” in the phone book???
We try “adult”, “porn”, “novelty”, “news”, and who remembers what else. We find a listing under "news" that looks suspiciously promising! Right there on Main St. in N. Tonawanda. In our haste, I don’t even finish my ice cream!
So we hop in the car and go looking. And we drive and drive. And we can’t find it! So we decide to forget the whole thing, do better research, and continue this social on another day. Alan says he has this little magazine…which he brings in the next day! And it has many listings for the whole area. And sure enough the store we were looking for is listed in there. Hmmm…After some thinking, I realize that we had been driving on Main St. in Tonawanda, which is the adjacent city literally over the bridge from the theater, and that Main St. in N. Tonawanda is a different street, around the block on THIS side of the bridge. The street is, in fact, on the back side of the theater. Right where I’d been parking my car every damn day! So after the show I get in my car, and sure enough it’s like half a mile up the dang road, so close to Nestor’s you could SPIT there!
So that’s where we’re going tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
...and there is still a line at Abbott's in the middle of the day! LOL. I took my friend Robin to the beach on Monday, so of course I had to introduce her to Abbotts ice cream. She is from WI. We had an awesome weekend together. I had a waffle cone with vanilla and she had a Fudge Sundae.
Monday, October 13, 2003
Thursday, October 09, 2003
This isn't about ice cream, but it does concern the underlying theme of this blog, which is of course, sex.
I was listening to Dr. Joy Brown's radio show last night, and this 67 year old woman called and said "Doc, I need advice. My husband and I always had a good sex life, but 12 years ago I had a hysterectomy and lost alot of sensation for sex. So my husband decided we should use vibrators..."
And I say "huh?"
"...and the vibrators have worked very well. I can have ten orgasms."
And Dr. Joy says "In how much of a time period?"
And the lady says "Right at the end there. They just keep coming and coming!"
And Dr. Brown says, "YOU GO, GIRL!" And I think "This is a prank call."
So I'm driving and now I have this visual of some little old lady with a vibrator having multiple orgasms.
She says her doctor put her on some anti-anxiety meds. And I'm yelling at the radio now..."YOU HAVE NAUGHTY, DIRTY SEX AND MULTIPLE ORGASMS AND YOU NEED ANTI-ANXIETY MEDS????? You need to find a new fucking doctor!"
Her problem? Seems the meds have made it difficult for her to achieve orgasm and she feels like she's going to explode. So Dr. Joy says "Honey, do you masturbate?" And (now sit down) she says in her best little-old-lady voice "OH, I don't even know how to do that!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And Dr. Joy says, "My dear, I think you can figure it out!"
Friday, October 03, 2003
Since I haven't had ice cream in awhile I thought I'd share an ice cream memory I had today. While I was between the ages of 10 and 12 I went to a week-long Girl Scout Camp in the Dansville area each summer. You would sign up for a program that was geared toward an interest like water activities (fishing, swimming, canoeing, etc.) or horseback riding. Most of the days activities centered around your program, but there were chances to go off and do something else like arts and crafts. I often signed up to learn how to make ice cream because it involved eating the results. I remember signing up more than once in a week for this activity simply because homemade vanilla ice cream tasted incredible on a summer day. And it was definitely a departure from the camp food we were eating. Not that it was bad, but I don't think I need to explain why this was happiness!
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
PS - Nice ice cream factor, Maria... *evil grin*