Minutes to the Ice Cream Social of March 18, 2003

Time: 8:00 p.m.
Location: Friendly’s, Webster, NY
Present in order of appearance: Cheryl, who was early, Leah, Mary Rose who sat in her car for 10 minutes to smoke before she came in, Maria who was late because of work, and Jessica, who wasn’t supposed to be here but made a surprise appearance!

Here we are! Jessica, Maria, Mary Rose, Leah,Cheryl

1. Leah, Mary Rose and Cheryl discuss: stupid people with bad hairdos and people named Bertha. While looking at menus, Cheryl convinces Leah that she can substitute any flavor ice cream on her sundae. Leah says “God Bless America”.

2. 8:25 p.m. Marjie from Michigan calls us! She is in the grocery store buying chocolate ice cream as we speak!

3. The lesbians of the group decide that the waitress is not getting the “pretty waitress tip”.

4. Waitress comes to take our order, and SHETALKSSOFUCKINGFAST that we’re not sure what we’ve ordered. We hurry to tell her our orders because she is rushing us!!! Leah orders a caramel fudge brownie with chocolate almond chip ice cream. Jessica orders a Happy Ending sundae with rainbow sprinkles. Maria gets the big super size 5 scoop Super Caramel Fudge Blast with Rainbow sprinkles, a side of gummy bears and no mayo. Mary Rose gets a 3-scoop Caramel Fudge Blast with rainbow sprinkles and Cheryl orders the same without sprinkles. Nobody gets her damn sprinkles. Leah hunts down the waitress who seems to have disappeared to ask for the sprinkles. The waitress shows up to ask “OKAYWHATKINDOFSPRINKLESDIDJAWANT???” and everyone says never mind, it’s okay, forget it, making Leah look like a fool. Leah calls their actions traitorous.

They don't call 'em jerks for nothing

A reverent moment of silence

5. The goils are steeped deep in a sugar high, and begin discussing bra fittings, cup size and cleavage. The waitress comes by and says “CANIGETYOUANYTHINGELSE?” and Leah answers no thank you, speaking only for herself. But the waitress, assuming Leah is the voice of the group, says “OKAYTHANKS” and runs off. Mary Rose, who was trying to get the waitresses attention, mock flings her spoon at Leah in frustration, who gets a spoonful of yummy sticky chocolate goop on her neck! Leah finds this sexy.

6. Leah, the dictatorial, powerhungry Capricorn queen of all things organizational, decides the group should have rules. But funny ones. And that we should all have bios posted on the website.

7. The goils make a toast, then raise their spoons in a salute to all the other TLIC team members who could not make this ice cream social.

The toast....

...and the salute!

8. Leah unveils her “Ice Cream Factor” scale. It works like this: Knowing that ice cream consumption increases proportionately with sexual frustration, The Ice Cream Factor (ICF) scale of 1 to 5 indicates your level of ice cream consumption. One is the least amount of ice cream consumed, five the highest. There is no Zero on this scale, because ultimately we are always sexually frustrated to some degree: even after you have sex you want more sex.

9. The goils decide to go to the porn store down the road.

10. 10:20 p.m. Meeting adjourned immediately, without any discussion of future events, pre-occupied as they are with their next adventure.