HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I SWEAR to god I'm not making this up. This is an actual Yahoo Group I found when doing a search on "ice cream".
Single Christians Seeking BDSM Spouse2. And there are almost 600 members! Here's what it says:
Are you a Conservative Christian Single in search of your life partner? Is your search COMPLICATED by the fact that you have "secret" desires? Desires that are not morally wrong, but are embarrasingly personal? Do you desire a mate who is into Spanking? BDSM? "Domistic Discipline?" I know these are things that we cannot bring up at the church ice cream social.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fucking whackos. Just tie each other up and get over yourselves!
About Us
about 
Our Mascot, Alice, may she rest in peace 
It's all Maria's fault. She loves ice cream and uses it to seduce people. And we've all been seduced. By the ice cream, not by Maria. But we've all since realized that ice cream has become an excellent compensation for our sexual frustrations. We even have our own theme song. So here's where we shall describe, in excrutiatingly sensuous detail, our ice cream escapades.
Our Mascot, Alice, may she rest in peace In memoriam:
Tigger
TLIC team bios
Dana Scully. An honorary member. Was seen eating ice cream in the X-Files episode "The Unnatural". Has not yet attended a TLIC social. I don't know if she stirs her ice cream, but she stirs me up on a regular basis. Apparent Favorite: Vanilla cone.
ICF=?
(I'm sure any of us would volunteer to see that it's a 1)
Maria (a/k/a I Am Done). The inspiration for this blog. As with any deity, you cannot gaze upon her countenance, lest you be turned into fat-free plain vanilla frozen yogurt. Likes to stir her ice cream. Favorite: Vanilla.
ICF=5
Leah (a/k/a Bitter). Founder of TLIC and composer of the theme song. Lover of all things chocolate. Don't tell her doctor about this, she has high triglycerides. Sometimes stirs her ice cream, depending. Favorite: Abbott's Chocolate Almond Frozen Custard.
ICF=1
Mary Rose, team hip chick with exotic piercings. Doesn't have her own blog. Never stirs her ice cream. Favorite: Anything with chunky stuff in it.
ICF=1
Cheryl (a/k/a Rose). A Mom, and therefore owns a minivan, which transports team members to their adventures. Nevers stirs her ice cream. Favorite: Caramel Fudge Sundae.
ICF=3
Jessica. The youngest team member, yet has a low ICF, as any fresh, young woman should. Sometimes stirs her ice cream. Favorite: B&J's Fudge Central.
ICF=2
(but only because her gf lives out of town)
Marjorie. Our wickedly funny, quick-witted Michigan team member. I think this is her mug shot from stalking Hanson. Never stirs her ice cream (it doesn't spend that much time in the bowl). Favorite: Crunchy Munchy Peanut Butter.
ICF=5
Julia from Jamestown, NY. Just got married and therefore madly in love, hence the ridiculously low ICF. Stirring NOT allowed. Favorite: Cookies and Cream on a sugar cone.
ICF=1
Nina (a/k/a Pinky). The Graphic Artist from Indiana who has an unnatural fondness for her Mac. Currently being stalked by some psycho. Slightly stirs her ice cream. Favorite: B&J's Pistachio.
ICF=5
Lisa. The massage therapist from Boulder, CO, where they think hemp is a flavor of ice cream. Survived West Nile Virus. Sometimes stirs. Favorite: B&J's Peanut Butter Me Up.
ICF=3
Alan, a/k/a TP (Token Penis). The drummer from Buffalo. Cute, 21, accounting major, and knows how to have fun. Possesses a staggering knowledge of the "adult" culture. Sometimes stirs. Favorite: B&J's Phish Food.
ICF=5 (He's a guy! Always 5!)
A word about ICF
(Ice Cream Factor):
Ice Cream consumption increases with sexual frustration. The higher the ICF, the more ice cream consumed. 'Nuff said.